In the ICU, the nurses are focused on saving lives. Patients sustained by drips, pumps, monitors; doctors ordering medicine to sustain life; ventilators that breathe for a patient who would have no breath without. It would be easy for a nurse to overlook a patient, not in critical condition. It would be easy to focus on higher acuity patients. I was blessed to have a nurse, Claire Graham, who does not do things the easy way. Recently, the bottom fell out of my world. Facing a divorce and being an only child estranged from my parents, I attempted suicide. When I finally got my bearings in the ICU after a healthy dose of pineapple rum and carbon monoxide, I was terrified. What would these people think of me? I'm a nurse, an RN at another facility, and I'm on the OTHER side of the bed. Not every nurse enjoys psychiatric nursing, either. I was blessed to have Claire, who took the time to care. She didn't judge me. She displayed a level of compassion and empathy I can only hope to achieve. Claire asked me about the events leading up to my attempt, and she asked me about my feelings. She took the time to sit with me as I became an emotional volcano. And then, she repeated to me over and over "You're not alone. You can get through this." Maybe this is a statement only a nurse can understand, but she let me know it was ok to be sick, to be in the hospital, and to need help. Even without massive trauma or a life-threatening illness, she told me I needed, and deserved treatment. Somehow, Claire knew that pills were useless to me and gave me the best medicine of all, a hug.
When I felt ready to leave the ICU and have the privacy of a "normal" bathroom, also knowing I wasn't critical care material anymore, she called the doctor and advocated to have me moved to a regular floor. When I left the ICU, I could still hear her saying "Just remember you're not alone." A month later, and a million ups and downs, I still remember her saying that. I could have left the ICU feeling like a burden, a failed attempt, a walkie talkie taking up space in a critical care bed. Instead, I think of Claire saying, "you're not alone" and I know it's the truth. Her care has both sustained and strengthened me a month later, an extraordinary act by an Extraordinary Nurse.