My son was born at 30 weeks. Obviously, being so early he was admitted to the NICU immediately. I didn't even get the chance to hold him in my delivery room. Here I am, as a first-time birth mom, scared out of my mind. Listening to beeps, seeing wires, the blue lights, the incubator box, not being able to hold my son for the first week of his life. So many doctors and nurses coming in and out of the area. Luckily, we had the prime spot of the NICU – right next to the window. It gave a bit of comfort and hope that he wouldn't stay long there. The escape was right on the other side of that window, plus a few stories down of course.

All of the nurses were amazing with me. But Jess stood out. She comforted me in all of my worries. Even set me up to hold my son for the first time, exactly a week old. What eased my mind the most was how much information she talked me through medically. If I had any questions, worries, or confusion she was right there to help guide me through the information and calm me down. She gave me everything straight. Which I know is normal, but she talked to me on a personal level. Not like we were strangers. I was blessed to be able to come into the NICU and sit with C every day for about 4-6 hours a day, even longer on the weekends when I didn't have to worry about daycare for my daughter. Jess was there on most weekends from being able to hold him for the very first time, to guiding me on feeding him, to exchanging stories of our families, to the worst day of my NICU experience.

My profession is the polar opposite of the medical field, so I tried my hardest to keep up with all of the information, the beeps, the alarms, and the wires attached to my tiny baby’s body. What scared me the most was hearing that he stopped breathing. I couldn't understand this. I couldn't cope with this. All of the times he didn't start breathing again on his own, I was never there, it typically happened overnight. That was until one afternoon. I was holding him, getting all of the snuggles I could possibly get before I had to leave for the day, and all of a sudden he looked a bit violet, and alarms started sounding. The norm is to give them a second to try and breathe again on their own. He did not. He turned more blue and I froze. I did not know what to do. Jess came and scooped him up from me and did her thing and got him breathing again.

To be honest, I don't even know what she did. Time froze, it felt like 5 minutes went by before I heard his cry. I broke down sobbing, realizing I just watched one of his non-breathing episodes that he couldn't come back from, and I didn't know what to do. It made me question everything as a mom, am I ever going to be ready to take him home? What happens if he never stops this? What happens if it's not caught again in time? A lot of these were unrealistic questions, but they all popped into my head when this happened. Jess was comforting him and me all at the same time. She explained everything in detail; why it happened, that he's okay now, which unfortunately is very normal for preemies. I was able to gather myself (somewhat) and take him back. That day was the hardest day I ever had while in the NICU. Part of me wanted to run out of the NICU and let Jess and the rest of the staff handle him until he was good enough to come home. While the other part of me didn't want to leave his side. While this was the worst day of my NICU experience, Jess made sure I got through it. She stayed near me that day to make sure I was okay.

She even took time out of her day to call me the following day, because I wasn't there at the time I normally had been. She was worried I was too scared to come back. I don't remember what held me up that day, but I was indeed scared to come back and took my time getting there. I couldn't go through that again. But if I had to go through it again, I would want Jess by my child's side. By my side. I know this is her every day. But the way Jess talks to us as scared parents makes you feel like family. She made sure you didn't skip a beat. Make sure your voice is heard and that you understand everything going on, even the scary scenarios.

I am not sure I would've made it as good as I did mentally without her. Even when we popped over to the last wing of his stay, she came and checked on us to see how he was progressing and to see how I was doing. You can tell she loves what she does. This is not just a paycheck for her. This is her livelihood, and she takes pride and ownership in what she does. I am truly thankful for the care we received but am extremely thankful for Jess. It made our over a month experience in the NICU so much more tolerable than I believe it would have been without her.