When I awoke from a diabetic coma, my abilities were diminished. My brain function and memory were affected, my fine motor skills were almost non-existent. I could not stand or walk. My speech was slow, deliberate, as I struggled to communicate. My eyesight was impaired. My new dependency was something I accepted but at the same time discouraged me. I was surprised by the support from the doctors, nurses, and technicians, faces masked, unrecognizable in this time of personal struggle and pandemic. Heroes all, of course.
Although I experienced incremental progress daily, my thoughts were about how I could survive or succeed in such a decrepit state. How would my dependency affect everyone around me, my family? I have experience with depression. Conquering it is a journey up a mountain. I knew I would need help. Enough of the prelude.
I felt it was a moment of success when I was moved from ICU to MedSurg. I was not a candidate for PT and OT due to my weaknesses. I was impatient and wanted to improve. I had several nurse caregivers up until this time and all were superb and I thank them.
Rachel took over my care on the second day in MedSurg. I noticed immediately the confidence, abrupt confidence, she had for my condition. I always asked the doctors and nurses if they thought I would get out of there. The answers were always assuring but Rachel's answer was confident and, to me, believable. I was at a point where the Physical Therapist allowed me to take steps in my room. Then a short distance in the halls. It was glorious. Rachel got permission to take me for a walk while pushing the "chair" behind me. All the staff were incredibly busy but she was able to take time to assist me in the exercise two days in a row. It was fun. We were the Dream Team. Air high fives. I was joyful. I was improving. She provided the impetus that reduced my feelings of dependency and increased my holistic progress.
She cared for me for two days. She allowed me, under her supervision, to inject my insulin, something that I needed to learn, another step to independence. She was happy about my progress. She offered her expertise in a way that made me feel better about my future. I don't remember the context or substance of the conversation, but she said the words, "Positive," or "Positivity,'' and the words are still in my memory like a shouted thought, a loud mental impulse. Her attitude and engagement with my care provided a highway to wellness for which I am extremely grateful. Thank you, Rachel.
After several months, my eyesight has recovered, my mental state is adequate, my body is in better shape and this is all positive. I am confident in my ability to treat myself in the ways I was taught. The positivity still exists with me and most probably with others because of Rachel.