Our mother was on hospice for about 2 weeks. None of us expected the length of time involved. The stress and emotional turmoil grew as each day passed. We questioned many things, especially whether the decision to stop treatment had been made too hastily. We were not ready to say good-bye. The one constant through the whole experience was her nurse, Andrea Dewey.
Andrea quickly became a part of our family and we looked forward to her next visit. Andrea was very respectful of our mom's wishes of privacy and decision making. She was very gentle and always explained to her what she was going to do, how the medicines worked and how the medicine would help her during the process; how taking it would help her with the pain she was feeling, but not prolong her life. Several times mom told all of us she was not in pain.
During her visits, Andrea began to learn about mom, family stories, the things that were special to her and her family. And she remembered these things on each subsequent visit.
She comforted mom and all of us; she made sure mom was always comfortable and gave us tips on how to do the same. She never rushed her visits. Andrea was also very helpful to our dad, making sure he was taking care of himself, answering any questions or concerns and reassuring him that mom was not in pain.
During the final few days of mom's life, Andrea came twice a day. Even though mom showed the signs that passing was near, her heart was strong and continued to beat. Andrea called her "Amazing J". Even though Andrea could not explain the medical reasons for her continued heartbeat, she always comforted us and helped us appreciate the fact we were still able to tell mom how much we loved her and that we understood her decision.
On one of her final visits, Andrea dropped off bags from Val's Pals-it was a bright spot for all of us; goodies that were so thoughtful and brought a smile to all of us. Also, a little teasing among siblings about who got the best stuff.
Andrea had a fellow hospice nurse come to make sure she was doing everything possible and not missing anything in caring for mom. Knowing Andrea was not above asking someone else's opinion was so comforting to all of us.
Before Andrea and her co-worker left, they told her that C would be the nurse on-call that night. C is also the name of my mother-in-law's daughter who passed away when she was only a few months old. They also told my mother-in-law a secret when they left. This seemed like a special omen.
That evening came and several of us decided to leave and get some rest. We expected to see mom again the next morning as we had done for almost 2 weeks. In fact, we said, "See you tomorrow," as we told her good night. Her condition seemed no different than it had for several days. About 11:40 that evening, mom went to heaven and saw Jesus and her daughter, C, who she had not seen in over 60 years. C, the nurse on-call came and was so kind to all of us immediately after mom's passing. It truly had been a good omen that she had the same name as our sister.
Andrea came the next morning and talked to all of us. Even though we knew mom was now in a better place, we were sad that Andrea would not be visiting us any longer. We will never be able to give Andrea enough thanks for helping us through such a difficult time. There are not enough words to describe how she cared for mom, her gentleness, her reassuring voice, her expertise and her unfailing respect of mom's wishes during her final days. She also treated all of us in the same caring way-and dealing with 6 different personalities and opinions is never easy.
Thank you, Andrea, for becoming a part of our family. Remember you're invited to Easter Dinner!