When I first learned I was a "heart mom" I was given the advice to find a nurse whom I really trust - one that loves on my baby like I do and let that be the nurse that you let your guard down with. Let her feed your baby while you sleep. Let her watch over your baby while you leave the hospital for just a few hours to feel human again. April was that nurse for me. I knew when she came on shift that I would finally sleep. When you live at the hospital - you don't get sleep. When your baby is hooked up to all sorts of monitoring systems that go off - you don't get sleep. With April I could sleep through every alarm because I knew she had my baby. It's hard as a mother to let your guard down when it comes to your kids, but I knew April had my daughter. April was the closest thing to "me" my daughter could get, and I know when we have my daughter's next surgery when I see April, I can rest. I can cry. I can let my guard down and she will hold the night steady. I am so very thankful for her!