A little back story, my twins were born at 25 weeks at CPMC in 2017, we had an emergency C-section, and I had preeclampsia. Between the two of them, we were in the hospital for a very long time. A was transferred to Stanford on day 10 of life, she was diagnosed on day 1 with TEF. A spent the majority of her short life in the hospital between CPMC and Stanford. I lived between NICUs, PICUs, and the intermediary nursery. There were nights I would curl up in the Stanford lobby because there was no room in the NICU to be near her, I would be too frozen to go home, and I didn't want her to die alone.
We were there a lot, so I became very aware of the staff and they became like a second family. I became acquainted with those I trusted and others I was not sure of. Being a parent of an ill child can be difficult. There are many times where I felt like I was not their mom with other people making decisions. I could be a fierce advocate for the twins, and sometimes, actually many times, I would say it was demoralizing. I learned to depend on a precious few individuals who made me and my family matter.
There is no one situation with Basma, there are multiple. When I think of Basma I think of solid high energy, someone who speaks her mind, advocates, knows how to have fun, and can be serious (yes she can) when it is necessary.
Who she is and what she represents can be felt each time I walked through the door. I was always greeted with "hi mommy, how are you doing today?" Each time she entered her room to do something with A she would always explain what she was doing and why. She explained to me in a way that I could understand and grasp. She would also give me opportunities to make some of the decisions, even if it was as simple as giving my girl a bath.
As a parent of a beautiful girl who lived the majority of her life in the hospital, my parental role could often be diminished depending on who was on. I often did not feel like her mother or that I had a say. That was not the case when Basma was working, I was her mom and I knew this. Basma didn't do anything "special" she did what was natural. She talked to me like I existed, she laughed and cried with me. She was with us two long ECMO winters when A had RSV.
When Basma was on I knew we were safe no matter the outcome. I knew she would be honest and straightforward with me. I knew she would advocate on behalf of both A and myself. There were times I didn't have the fight in me because I was exhausted, and she fought for us.
I could tell you a lot of stories, but at the end of the day it isn't about the stories, it is about how we felt when Basma was on shift. We couldn't have taken this journey without Basma. I'm grateful for her and the love and professionalism she showed all of us.