My daughter held my hand, and I repeatedly said things like, "It's alright, it's alright," and "You can breathe, " among other reassurances. Denise continued to say, "We are almost there; you are doing great, " as she worked. She provided ongoing reassurance throughout the process. First of all, I never felt anything at all. Nothing. However, I can't emphasize enough that the pain of an IV is not my main concern. The discomfort during placement is quite minimal, for sure. It's the psychological aspect that affects me; as the needle goes in or once it's placed, I feel as though I can't breathe. Over the years, I have undergone many procedures, and I can tell you that while I have received excellent care, none compares to Denise's approach. It's simply impossible to convey this in words. I don't know what kind of person it takes to manage a patient with such kindness, patience, and compassion under duress, especially while performing a challenging IV placement. My daughter mentioned that in her experience, she had never witnessed such an ideally administered IV placement. She also remarked that she didn't know anyone who could have placed the IV, given the state of my veins at that moment - let alone amidst my moaning and groaning and distress.

What happened next was nothing short of extraordinary. I always experience the absolute worst anxiety right before any medication is administered. Not only do I have flashbacks, but since I have been told so many times about my resistance to anesthesia, I have also developed a terrible fear of waking up during a procedure or feeling something and no one noticing. So, for me, it goes beyond just getting the IV in - even just for sedation. Denise, now aware of all this, asked, "Would you like me to go with you?" I felt so embarrassed, but not too embarrassed to shout, "Could you?" Denise said she would be happy to do so. She pushed me down the hall, and even when a CNA offered to push me, she replied, "No, thank you, I've got her!" She accompanied me into the room. I was struggling, as I always do. Denise donned a gown and gloves, then came around to the front of my bed to hold my hand over the bed's bar. I relaxed. She asked me about my kids, and I drifted off. While I remember gagging a bit on the endoscope, I don't recall anything else. Everything went very well.

The next day, I talked to my daughter about Denise. I wished I could thank her for all she had done. My daughter said that Denise had never left the procedure and returned to my room after delivering me personally. She gave me some water and spoke to me, reassuring me. I didn't remember Denise being there afterward, so I asked my daughter if I had been grateful enough. She replied, "You said thank you a bunch, but you were pretty sleepy!" So, Denise, thank you! My daughter also told me that after she had praised Denise, another nurse shared that Denise's shift had long ended, but she stayed on to ensure my IV placement went well and that I was okay during the entire experience. Denise told us she had been a nurse for a few decades. She cared for me and my extraordinary needs with as much passion as I am sure she had on her first day. Kindness, compassion, and patience are all pretty generic words - I wish I could think of new ones to describe Denise during my endoscopy procedure and prep, which genuinely should be considered an "event" - not for me, but for Denise. The physician even told me, "We don't have to do this today. " Oh, how disappointed I would have been in myself if I had just walked out because of nerves! So, not only did Denise care for me that day, but her care extended beyond the walls of the Digestive Health Center because I was able to plan the next steps in my health journey after I completed the procedure.

I have never received such tender and empathetic care from any medical personnel. Ever. At one point before the procedure, while my daughter was holding my hand and talking to me, I mentioned to Denise that we had lost my husband unexpectedly after shoveling a year ago and that my daughter had performed CPR on her father. She looked directly into my daughter's eyes and said, "You two have been through a lot." In that moment, without saying, "Your mom is a lunatic, so good for you for helping her, " she acknowledged my daughter's commitment to me and my difficult situation. It is not at all easy for my daughter, given all she endured with my husband's death, to take on the role of a parent to me during a situation like this endoscopy, and Denise recognized that in the most beautiful way - without diminishing my experience at all.
 

Even in my mania, Denise's appreciation for my daughter did not go unnoticed. My daughter expressed her hope of becoming as good a nurse someday as Denise was to me. In a world where it can be hard to find role models, I want to thank Denise for being such an amazing one for my daughter and for all other nurses and future nurses who cross her path. She also serves as a role model for people like me, who might occasionally need a reminder to think beyond ourselves, emphasizing that, as human beings, there is great benefit in making personal sacrifices for the benefit of others. I want to thank her for being unbelievably understanding and patient with me during this ordeal. I will be eternally grateful. Denise listened to me and treated my psychological issues with as much consideration as if I had presented with something physically threatening. She treated me with respect, striving to preserve my dignity in a very undignified predicament. She recognized my issue as being real to me.