Sonja Defoe
July 2024
Sonja
Defoe
,
LPN
4 Red
University Health Truman Medical Center
Kansas City
,
MO
United States

 

 

 

When Sonja came back into the CTM office and said, “I get to take him home,” there were no dry eyes. This little boy was just saved from being placed in an awful place and from any potential trauma. After we wiped our eyes, we started planning. I handed the sleeping R back to Sonja and got online to buy him a car seat so that she could drive him home.
In all of my nursing career I have never had the pleasure of being a part of something so beautiful and impactful. I hope that you can find some happiness in the love of our team.

Recently, one of our tele nurses was caring for a patient on 4 Red. During her shift, she came to learn that the patient was a single father of a 3-year-old boy named R. His son was currently with his 22-year-old daughter, who was not capable of taking care of him due to her own challenges. During the day, the daughter was visiting her father with her brother and had informed Sonja that she would have to leave soon and would not be able to take her brother back with her. Sonja engaged in a lengthy and in-depth conversation to find out if there were any other family members or friends that could take R, as he was not able to stay in the hospital. Unfortunately, there was no one.  R did not have a mother and no other siblings. Left with the heartbreaking issue of a child being left at the hospital with his father (the patient), Sonja came to the CTM office where I and the CTM were. After Sonja told us about this, the CTM and I visited the patient to discuss the concern further and again confirmed there was no one to take the child. At this point, R had not eaten yet (lunchtime), so we asked the father if it was okay for Sonja to take R downstairs to the cafeteria to get him lunch and asked if there were any dietary preferences or allergies. Father approved, and Sonja took R to get lunch while we talked to his father in more detail. R was so mesmerized by our employee badges and the “clips” for them that he asked Sonja if he could wear hers; she obliged while they walked to the cafeteria.

I informed the father that we would need to talk to the social worker (SW), and that there were more than likely going to notify child services. The father was highly concerned for the welfare of his child and didn’t want the state to take him. He stated that if they tried to, he would leave AMA. Unfortunately, the father required some critical care and treatments, and this posed a huge risk for him and R. I explained the risks of leaving AMA and strongly encouraged him to stay, letting him know that if he left, he could potentially put himself and R in further harm’s way. He was very understanding and agreed to stay. He asked what he could do, because he had no one to care for his child. I asked the father if he was okay with my team watching R until we figured out a solution that was the least traumatizing for him, and he said yes.  

Shortly after, Sonja returned with R and his pizza. He sat in the CTM office and enjoyed his pizza and chocolate milk. We learned more crucial information about the patient and the care that he needed, causing this situation to become more complex. Sonja is in the room when we discover this, and Sonja says to us “I will take R home and care for him”. Let me explain Sonja’s background – she started out on tele as an SNE-LPN and then became an LPN. During her work as an SNE, she was primarily assigned to our VO in room X due to her extensive background with individuals like patient X, and she was once a foster parent. Aside from her current career as an LPN at UH, she also runs a business for adults with disabilities.  

The grim reality of the situation was that as mandatory reporters, we knew DFS/CPS would come in and remove R and he would be placed in the system. Trust me, by this point, there was no one who wanted R to be placed in the system. If there was ever a little boy for the whole world to fall in love with immediately, it was him, and boy, did he have everyone on Tele wrapped around his little finger. We all discussed the reality and the fact that Sonja was serious about wanting to get emergency custody of R, and decided to talk to the father and present his options. We went to meet with the father and as if it was meant to be, the GI doctor was entering at the same time. The physician said we could talk to him first, but knowing the conversation he was going to have with the patient, I asked the provider to talk first so that he would learn his plan of care and could make a better-informed decision; so he did. Once the physician was done, we explained the reality of the state and then told him that his nurse, Sonja, had offered to care for R temporarily while he was in the hospital to keep him safe from the foster system. I had Sonja come into the room and explain her home setup, background, and experience. The father became emotional and stated “I can’t believe you are willing to do that for me”. We all ensured that he knew we were not persuading him in any way, only letting him know all his options and what he was facing medically so that he could make an informed decision. The father then stated, “You know, I know I don’t know you, but from the time you have been my nurse, I could tell you were a good person, and I have respected you. Yes, I would be happy for R to go home with you; I do not want him to go to the state”. He was informed of the next steps and agreed.

We spoke to SW and legal. SW stated it was a mandatory report and that they were not willing to support the emergency custody as there were a lot of risks for the hospital, but if legal and DFS was okay with it, then okay. Legal signed off, so now we waited for DFS to arrive.  

While waiting, staff entertained R, and even went to the peds clinic to get the size diapers he needed. Staff at the peds clinic were beyond gracious and gave us not only diapers but also wipes and toys.  They were great!  For the next few hours, you would see R holding hands with an employee – whether it was a unit coordinator, a nurse or a PCT, he loved everyone and they loved him. R was happy.  

A little later, he became tired and needed a nap, and he only wanted Sonja to hold him. Sonja came up to me, holding him, asking what she should do. I told her to take him to the CTM office and sit down in there where it was quiet so that he could nap while she held him – we had no empty beds, and the father's room was not quiet (roommate). We went over to my unit 4 Green and let the team there know that we had a situation come up on 4 Red, and needed to send one nurse from 4 Green to 4 Red to take Sonja’s patients. Without skipping a beat, all the nurses said, “Is it R?” When I told them yes, once again, they all immediately started saying which patient they would take, and they all chipped in to help. There was no complaining, no hesitation; there was nothing but love and support. I stood there in awe of my team, almost to the point of tearing up, and said to them, “I love all of you, and I am so proud of each and every one of you.” Patients were handed off, and everyone helped one another.

Shortly after, the father called out, stating that DFS was on the phone and wanted to talk to Sonja.  R was still sleeping on Sonja in the CTM office, so I had her hand him off to me, so she could take the call. The second that little boy lay on my chest, my heart exploded, and I sat there while he slept. When Sonja came back into the CTM office and said, “I get to take him home,” there were no dry eyes. This little boy was just saved from being placed in an awful place and from any potential trauma.  After we wiped our eyes, we started planning. I handed the sleeping R back to Sonja and got online to buy him a car seat so that she could drive him home. Once the news immediately spread to the unit, almost ALL staff came into the CTM office to ask what size clothes he wore and what Sonja needed. One nurse asked permission to leave work and go to her house, which was just a few miles away, to get diapers, toys, and clothes that her son just outgrew and bring them back.  One nurse who had just won our team's Kudos award and received a $50 Visa gift card gave Sonja the gift card to buy him items. Another nurse, once off work, ran to Costco and bought R clothes, snacks, toys, and diapers and brought them back to work around 8:30 pm (she stayed late for a staff meeting), and still came back to work today on time for her shift after working all day and doing that – no complaining, just compassion. This same nurse who made the Costco run went to the CTM office at one point during all this, sat down, and cried. She told us that she was a foster child herself, and seeing all of us do this for him was very emotional for her in a good way. I had already introduced trauma-informed care to my team, and when the CTM told me this, she said to me, “Now that is some trauma-informed care.”  

The car seat arrived at the hospital at 8:30 p.m. Two Tele CTMs and I stood outside unboxing it and setting it up so that she could drive him home. R is doing great and enjoying being at Sonja’s house and playing with her kids and puppies.

I don’t know if you believe in divine intervention, but I truly saw it happen yesterday. Sonja was assigned to this patient for a reason, and all the right players were there yesterday for this child.  I know as nurses we heal and fix people that is what we do. But that does not stop at the patient’s foot of the bed as you walk out of the room.  It is carried way beyond the patient, and sometimes you leave work with a few extra germs on you, and sometimes you leave with a 3-year-old.