During my stay at TGH, I couldn't have had a better experience. However, with the amazingly hospitable Nurses and Doctors, no one could help me with my most trying struggle...breastfeeding. I was dead set on breastfeeding during my whole pregnancy even through all my friends insistence on "how hard it's going to be...most women give up" discouragement; I knew I needed to do this. See, besides the incredible benefits that come along with breastfeeding, I had an ulterior motive as well.
Having been an addict for 8 long years of my somewhat short life - well I honestly never sought a change, I felt I never had a reason to. On one very usual unproductive day of a drug-addict, I found out I was pregnant. No, things did not change immediately. I won't lie, I brushed it off -maybe even went into denial a bit really. Eventually I had to tell my family (whom I kept at a distance as my addiction worsened) and with their support we agreed an abortion would be the best option. Considering the alternative of bringing a baby into the world of immense drug use was not a picture I could come to terms with. I guess somewhere deep inside, I didn't really want it - I just didn't know how to want anything else besides being a selfish drug addict. I kept putting off the abortion with the excuse of being busy...heh. In all actuality, my family had agreed to pay for it and I had no excuse. Either way, during that time I had an active warrant for Hillsborough County for shoplifting. Sad, but true - and when it comes down to it... all the incidents that followed in the end would save my life and that of my baby's.
I'm getting a little of track here so let me get to the point. I went to jail detoxing and once there they offered me an option to begin the Methadone treatment at DACCO. After a brief description of the torture I could be putting this poor innocent baby through, I took the offer. When I went to court, I was placed in the residential program at DACCO where I continued my Methadone treatment at OATS. There are several different programs and classes they offer there for pregnant women and so I've learned quite a bit thus far. I guess I hadn't thought of what would happen to this baby after I had her, how there was a possibility that she would show signs with withdrawal. Of course, this terrified me and still does to this very second. Not to talk down the OATS program because I would not have made it this far without them. But being a first-time Mom I'm pretty much scared of everything. Anyway, I found out that through breastfeeding I might be able to help. I hate feeling helpless-especially if it's something I've caused. That's where the ulterior motive comes in, so maybe now people can understand just how important this is to me.
Just when I considered giving up on my most important goal, in walks my nurse, Nurse Ugonna Duru. When I think of the word inspirational, I think of her. She was not going to let me off that easy, still managing to not over-step boundaries, always asking if I was okay with her doing certain things to help. I should have known when she said she was very passionate about breastfeeding! My daughter was not latching and getting incredibly frustrated as time went. Nurse Ugonna went above and beyond the call of duty to help me with my mission, always checking in on us. My Mom was even impressed with her commitment to service. So, I just wanted it to be understand how meaningful that little extra mile she went for me was.
Before coming to TGH, I had heard horror stories from girls previously at DACCO. It was a common thing for us to be treated differently here because of our status in society (which I don't have anyone to blame but myself) but I just want to say that couldn't be further from the truth. My stay has been tended by extremely kind and courteous Nurses, especially Ugonna!